Are you tired of trying to make things happen in your life when nothing seems to be working for you? Tired of driving forward with no results? I mean, for goodness sakes, why aren’t things happening as you envisioned them? It can be very frustrating and definitely lead you down a path of despair, and even giving up on your dreams.
The Path to Self-Love
You should never give up though. Even if you are led down a different path, know that the Universe is always conspiring in your favor to bring you what you want or something even better. The challenge is, nothing will happen for you until you are ready for it. Until you feel worthy of it. And until you have leapt over every hurdle on the path there.
I believe that not only do we need to go through our own healing journey on the path to self-love to get to our dreams, but that we are also sometimes tested along the way in big and small ways to see if we are ready. Why do I think that? Because of the fact that if I look back in my life, I can clearly see the tests or the moments of healing and clarity. The moments I didn’t get hopeless, but that I fought for what I wanted because I came to a place of realizing that I deserved better.
Tests and Turning Points
One of the major ‘tests’ I had was around my career years ago. I dreaded Mondays. I worked my tail off and never felt appreciated. There wasn’t much I enjoyed about the work, but felt like there wouldn’t be anything I could do in my career that would bring me more joy and make that amount of money. So, I just pushed on and ignored the signs. Some of the signs I was missing at the time like breaking my foot, putting on a large amount of weight, 2 of my dogs got gravely ill, and I completely isolated myself in my workaholic mode. It felt like my life was crumbling around me in so many ways.
Then suddenly and out of the blue, I was laid off from work. I was devastated! What would I do now? How would I survive? All the panic feelings set in. And then as quickly as the panic set in, my own self-love took over and I started to laugh and allow myself to be happy – I wouldn’t ever have to do that awful job again – EVER! YAY!!! Haha! Now mind you, many people would have thought I was crazy in that moment swinging abruptly from total devastation and tears to outright joy, but it was a hurdle and I was going to clear it just fine. I loved myself enough to have allowed the Universe to shake me awake in that moment to my self-worth, which I wasn’t respecting in that job.
Self-Love brings new Hope
When I was so deep in the trenches of misery and hopelessness and an inability to even see clearly that there could be better out there for me, I didn’t go looking for it. I needed a shake down in my life, as despite my messy career, I had developed a higher sense of self-love in other areas of my life. It was time to shine the light on my career. And that’s exactly what the Universe did for me when I didn’t see clearly enough to do it myself. I thought if I kept trudging along that things would get better, not realizing I needed to wish for it – to want better – to know that I deserved better and to seek it.
So, what happened next? Well I took the time to figure out what I wanted (as I had lots of time then to do that). I got clear on it and turned down any jobs that were similar to my last one. Only going for the job I wanted, which was very different from my previous job, but focused on the parts of my past jobs that I liked the best (coaching, managing and mentoring people). I also decided to relax a bit. I decided that I didn’t want to rush, but instead to give it 3-4 months to find that perfect fit, as I had the money to cover my expenses.
During that time I took better care of myself, and my dogs. I didn’t push, or panic, or worry (much at least – I would catch myself and go for a run or something if I did). I trusted that the Universe gave me this time of clarity for a reason. And you know what, the Universe delivered the absolute best job for me. I received the offer at the 3-month mark and I started at the 4-month mark.
A New Awareness
What I learned from this experience was that sometimes we get so lost in pushing, pushing, pushing forward (often trying to make something work that isn’t meant for us). We need to stop and find some awareness. To get some clarity on exactly where we are going. We need to set aside the hopelessness and be open to possibilities – maybe opportunities that we don’t even know exist! And most of all, we need to trust the Universe to always guide us and bring us what we need, and what is best for us.
I’ve become so much better at recognizing the moments that are here to test me. They don’t need to be quite so big anymore thank goodness. I can see the moments that stress me or test my patience, and I take a few deep breaths and close my eyes if I can. I am learning to manage the fear, notice my insecurities, and calmly, lovingly, mother myself in a gentle way. And of course, to be open to everything life has to teach me, because we are being taught and guided in absolutely every moment, and we can bring a new awareness to that.
Finding Your Joy
It’s also about having a vision of what you do deserve and checking in with it frequently. And about moving towards that which makes you giddy and happy. Just know that the Universe will test you along the way, and it’s important to notice, and to decide how to respond (or perhaps know how you SHOULD have responded or would like to respond in the future). Don’t get discouraged. Move in the direction you are shown and trust that the Universe will point you in the right direction.
I heard a story from a wonderful healer and channeler (Lee Harris) about how he dreamed of being a singer all his life, but the Universe kept directing him to healing work. Well, as he says now, he’s so glad he was guided that way because it’s so fulfilling and rewarding and has brought him great abundance and joy. And now he also incorporates his singing and music into his work as well, so he still has the opportunity to do that (and enjoy it) too. He said it was a path he never envisioned for himself though, even though in hindsight he can see the perfection of it all. A lesson in trusting where you’re guided, even if it’s not exactly what you had in mind!
Guidance isn’t Always Clear
Mind you, it can be confusing when you are guided in a different direction. I was in a house for the past 8 years, and last year I was clearly guided not just to an apartment, but to a specific apartment in a certain building. I was confused by this because I had two big dogs and a house with a yard, but I was shown that it would be a new beginning for me. So, I took the leap, even though everyone around me (including my dogs) were incredibly confused by it.
It turns out the new apartment was one of my hurdles really. A low point for me. Pushing me to a point of extreme self-examination of my life and where I wanted to be in every area of my life. It was about a new beginning for me (it was apartment 111, which is a number of new beginnings of course). And after 6 months of a lot of good cries while living there, I was given a reason to leave (I started having asthma and extreme allergies there). At that point I ran into an old friend who told me how awesome her apartment building was (a sign of course). When I went there I was shown a new apartment that was SO much better than where I was living.
My new apartment feels like the right step, and in a weird way, the reward for me recognizing that I deserved better. I didn’t wallow in the misery. I acted and followed where I was guided, even if it didn’t make immediate sense to me. The Universe even gave me all the money I needed to make the move in a large bonus from work this year, so even that aspect was covered. It’s amazing how the Universe makes everything happen for us if we are open and allow it in.
Stop Pushing and Start Following Your Guidance
My message to you here is to maybe stop pushing for a minute and check in with yourself, on every area of your life. Does it all feel right to you? Does it make you happy? Are changes needed? Perhaps ask the Universe to guide you if you can’t see clearly and see what comes? But be open, and know that sometimes there are hurdles or times that get harder before they get better. Learn from it all though. Recognize it and be open to growing in your self-love and taking your next steps. Just know that on the other side is a life that is so much happier and more joyful, that honors who you truly are and all the wonderful things you are worthy of!
A book you might like reading is The Second Mountain: The Quest for a Moral Life by David Brooks
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