Sometimes it’s hard to admit. Sometimes it’s hard to see. Sometimes we feel too stupid in what we’ve done, or too angry or upset to even look at things a bit deeper. But there are clearly lessons in everything we do, and even everything that happens to us.
Anxiety brings Clarity
Today I learned one of those lessons in a big and ugly way. Now I know we’re all different, but stick with me on this even if this isn’t your truth. So sometimes, being single, I get a little paranoid. I basically hear sounds, freak out at night, and sometimes take myself down an ugly path of no sleep by overthinking the sounds and what they could be. It doesn’t happen often, but that’s what happened last night. I couple things set me off, and before I knew it I was tossing and turning all night. And my mind was taking me on a roller coaster ride of paranoia. Fun! I had myself so worked up by morning that I couldn’t see straight (and was going on literally no sleep).
But then I started to put the pieces together. I figured out what the noises were that I heard, and that they were nothing at all – harmless. While I laughed, I also cried. I was so exhausted. How could I be so stupid?!? How did I waste a night of sleep freaking out for no reason? But was the lesson about my paranoia and stupidity in freaking out? Well, maybe a little. I certainly do need to chill out and calm down sometimes. However, I dug a little deeper.
Digging out the Lesson
I realized that as I laid in bed wide awake, my paranoid mind told me that I needed to escape. That I should probably find an AirBnB or something this weekend and get away in case my fears were correct about the noises. And the only thing I could think about was getting my two dogs and I to a safe place. I thought to myself, if someone broke in and took things, it wouldn’t really matter as long as the dogs and I were safe. Then it hit me. All this STUFF doesn’t matter at all.
What matters is the safety and protection of the ones we love. I had a good cry about that as well. The depth of my love for the dogs and our simple, blessed life together. They are the ones I couldn’t do without. The rest of it is just stuff. Nice to have, but when it comes down to it, your loved ones are all that matter. It was a beautiful lesson buried in a night of anxiety.
It’s an old lesson for me that I hadn’t really thought about since I was going through my divorce nine years ago. My ex wanted literally everything. Everything. The furniture, the dishes, the vacuum cleaner…if it wasn’t a permanent fixture, he wanted to take it with him. And I gave it all to him and I didn’t really even flinch doing it. I realized that NONE of it mattered. I could start over with the basics I came into the marriage with. With the one HUGE exception – our 2 dogs. That’s all I wanted. That’s absolutely all I cared about. Stuff is just stuff, but they were the world to me. He could take anything he wanted, and he did. But I got what really mattered – the love of my pups for the rest of their lives. It’s all that mattered.
Find the Love
So really, the lesson for me today (a reoccurring lesson obviously) is that even in the midst of fear, there is love – you may just have to dig for it a little. And love is ALL that matters. You could take away everything I have, but as long as I am with the ones I love, that is what matters to me.
Just remember to take even the worst days in your life and find the lesson. Find the love in the fear or the pain. Find the good things that come out of something. Figure out what the Universe is teaching you, or showing you, or redirecting you to do. But most importantly, find what matters. And treasure that.
A book to check out is – Trust Your Vibes: Secret Tools for Six-Sensory Living by Sonia Choquette
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