I’ve been on quite a journey. We all have really. That’s why we’re here. To overcome. To rise. To get back to our authentic selves and the purpose we came here to fulfill. We are given obstacles, challenges, pain, manipulation, wrong beliefs. Other people’s issues, insecurities, wounds, and patterns are imposed on us. We end up dragging all this heavy baggage with us through life and it’s up to us to unpack it. To open it up, see it all clearly and start to clean it out – to heal it in ourselves.
Starting to Unpack
I’ve been slowly unpacking like this for a long time, but over a year ago now I enlisted the help of a well-known (and well-respected) healer in my community. She is a hypnotherapist, energy healer, and counselor. I made the commitment to see her every week for as long as I needed to (turns out that was 16 months). I just closed the book on that this week, intuitively knowing that it was time, but let me tell you a little about the journey she guided me through.
A part of me wishes I had documented all of our sessions, because they were profound. My healer, Mary, through the use of hypnotherapy and other healing methods, brought out things I had stuffed down incredibly deep. Things I didn’t remember, or maybe didn’t want to remember. I told her I was very into ‘excavating’ on my healing journey, and boy did we dig! I think the most amazing things we dug up were vivid childhood memories that put me back into my young body experiencing things I could never have recalled otherwise.
It was heartbreaking, painful, sad, frustrating,…so many emotions. You are really digging up the old emotions and feeling them again. Many times over the 16 months I worked with her, the things that came out would produce anxiety in me. Sleepless nights, old fears, anger, incredible sadness and despair – you name it, I felt it. I would usually feel pain in the chakra or chakras that were affected too. Sometimes intense physical pain. There were definitely times I wasn’t sure I could take more. On occasion we would just do a ‘regular’ healing session (instead of more ‘excavating’) when things had been quite intense the week prior, and she would do energy healing on me in a restorative way.
The funny thing is that so many times we would get over a big hurdle, bringing up huge stuff that sometimes took weeks or even months to really resolve. And I would think, “I did it! I’m done!” And then in my next session some new thing would come up that clearly also needed to be healed. AHHH!! While I was thrilled to be bringing it all out and healing it, at times it felt like a long exhausting journey where there was no finishing point.
Despite my determination, I had quite a few breakdowns just out of sheer frustration. But the truth is, breakdowns are breakthroughs. It’s all about breaking your heart open. Devastation, heartbreak, and moments of hopelessness are meant to break us open and let the light in. Even these things have a purpose. It’s meant to open us to greater faith, self-love and deeper healing.
When I had times that I was in a lot of physical pain, or severe anxiety, I also did some ‘emergency’ sessions with another healer, Karen. She does hands on healing, but also uses music to draw the emotions out of you. It’s actually crazy intense, and I don’t believe I’ve ever cried as hard or experienced the strong emotions I have on her table any other time in my life. She is amazing at helping you release it all. She helped me release so much, but the biggest was my anger toward my family that was buried deep and I couldn’t seem to reach it any other way.
Through all this deep healing, I also became incredibly good at self-care. I did everything I could at home to help myself through these intense times by moving the energy out of my body. Everything from hot epsom salt baths, to going for runs to sweat it out, doing yoga, meditating, dancing, and long walks. I was using every additional healing tool I could think of too, from crystals, to essential oils, sage, and more. And there were lots of prayers and asking the Divine for help as well, because I certainly couldn’t do it all alone! There were definitely days that I felt all I had left was my faith that this was all for a reason, and I hung on to that for dear life.
I have to say as well that COVID brought an extra intensity to all these feelings we were bringing up with all the healing work this year – and yet I also believe that COVID and the circumstances around it have really sped up the healing and awakening process for all of us! So perhaps it helped to move things along more quickly for me in 2020. It certainly made things more interesting in terms of having to do all my sessions with Mary over the phone, but the intensity of the sessions and the healing remained the same.
Inspiration and Commitment
With the goal of providing you a bit of inspiration here if you are setting out on your own healing journey, I wanted to include the email I received this week from my healer after we ended my sessions (with her permission). I have to admit that it lifted me up and inspired me further! I didn’t realize my long, deep dive into healing with her was as rewarding to her as it was to me! It really does take commitment if you have a lot you need to heal, by you AND your healer. I am so grateful for what this amazing lady did for me!
Letter from my Healer:
Good Morning Jen,
I can honestly say that working with you has been one of the most rewarding, engaging, and satisfying experiences I have had. You are so committed, willing, and open… you have always been so right there ready to look, feel and explore, even when it is hard and uncomfortable. I can tell you that many people do not have your courage. Many people when the going gets tough decide to shut down and bale. But not you. That attribute of commitment, when properly understood and utilized, is one of your most treasured attributes. You have guts Jen. You have heart. And you now have the hard-won discernment and self-respect that will steer you and support you through the maze of life and relationships. I couldn’t be more proud of you Jen. I mean that in the fullest and purest sense possible.
I truly look forward to seeing where you go.
With great fondness, respect and appreciation,
The Magnificent Living Institute
Hypnotherapy, Counseling, Energy Therapy, Meditation
It’s YOUR Journey
Why did I take such an intense healing path and go so deep with it? Because I have a vision for my life and I know I can get there. But I innately knew that I needed to heal myself and my past first. I knew that I needed to fully open my heart to draw in the life of my dreams. The unconditional love, the passion, the purpose, the abundance, and the joy that I know I deserve. I believe that everything I went through in my life was part of my path, as was my healing journey, and that it is all leading me to that life I envision for myself.
I also have to admit that I’ve been going to psychics, past life healers, and intuitives for years – and all of them have had the same general description of my future. They have all given me ‘breadcrumbs’ to take me further on my path, to help me to begin to understand my purpose, and to create the full vision of my life and everything that I was meant to do and be. It has inspired me to keep pushing and never give up, because I see that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, and I’m going to get there!
The Struggle is Over
It’s been quite the journey so far, and it’s so exciting to close the book for the most part on my healing. As my guides have said, there will be maintenance and ‘tweaking’ needed at times, but otherwise I’m “done with the struggle in my life”. Now that I have healed and opened my heart, grown my self-love, and strengthened my faith – it is time to start manifesting the life I desire and deserve.
Anyone can do this! I just want to say that if you decide to venture out on a healing journey, you will overcome the struggles in your life. Because you weren’t meant to struggle. You were meant to rise up! You were given the strength, the tenacity, the faith and the willpower to lift yourself out of it and reach for better for yourself. It is what we are ALL meant to do! So maybe it’s time to take the first step in making that commitment to yourself? To start to untangle the web of pain that has been haunting you? To discover why you have struggled with things like your relationships and your finances, due to underlying issues of self-love and worthiness.
You were never meant to suffer. But it’s up to you to see that and to commit to loving yourself enough to reach for better. And that starts with healing.
Keep the Faith
You can do this! If I can go through all I went through, you can definitely start the journey. It will likely be much easier than mine. LOL. But it is beyond rewarding in the level of strength, self-love, faith, and commitment to yourself and your life that you will have on the other side. It WILL be worth it!
We are all on amazing journeys in this life – of great love, joy, passion, and purpose. We just need to have the courage to reach for it. To believe in it. To have faith it’s coming to us. To heal ourselves, love ourselves and believe that God loves us too. It will all happen for you if you are willing to commit to the journey.
A book you might enjoy is You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay