It’s a new year and a great time to clean house, and not just in your home. The new year is a time when people often make resolutions. Make changes. Begin again. There is a great energy in this time of year, and it’s great to take advantage of it. I think a great first step is to purge your life.
What do I mean by that? Well, I think we overlook a lot of things in our day to day life. Whether it’s the pile of junk in the garage, or the friend you keep turning down because you just don’t enjoy your time with her. I think we need to address things and not let things just ‘pile up’ anymore.
You can and should start with your home though. It can be incredibly impactful to clean out your home (and your office), as studies show that the bigger the piles and messes, the more stressed you feel. So get out the garbage bin and a donation bag and go to town. Hit every area of your home, including your closet. See what you haven’t used, or worn, and what you can donate to someone that truly needs it. This alone is can have a huge impact on your life and how you feel.
Are you wondering why you don’t feel motivated? Take a look around your house. Even if it’s not messy, do you have a closet full of things you are ‘saving’? Or old memories that you are hanging onto in piles of pictures or mementos that are holding you back? See what you can find, and what you can part with – with the intention of opening yourself to great new beginnings.
Relationship Clean Out
Purging can go beyond this to really every area of your life too. What about your friendships or any of the relationships in your life? Do they bring you joy? Are there any people that you need to spend less time with, get some distance from, or maybe walk away from? Really look at whether or not these people have your highest interest in mind, and really care about you. If they don’t, you may need to think about why you are spending time with them.
This is also about recognizing patterns of ‘unworthiness’ in yourself sometimes. Do you let people walk all over you? Or feel like you have to tolerate people’s ‘shit’ because you can’t do any better? Try doing some writing about it, talk it over with someone you trust if you want, but really dig deep. This is just another part of the purging process. Once you can see clearly why you are choosing unhealthy relationships/friendships, then you will easily be able to move past them and find friends/loved ones who value you.
What about purging patterns of destructive behavior? Are there things you do that are unhealthy or unproductive? Do you have additions to alcohol, sugar, overeating, overspending, lack of exercise or good self-care, or just general avoidance of things you need to deal with? It’s time to pay attention. And it’s time to come up with a plan. Whether you pick up a book to help you, book a therapist appointment, or just start taking it seriously and take steps in the right direction – it’s time to do it. It’s time to purge these behaviors and start fresh. It’s never going to get better unless you decide to deal with it. Do it for yourself. You deserve better.
Let’s talk about work as well. Maybe you are working your tail off and feeling unhappy? Do you stay late at work day in and day out because you feel you have to, or aren’t worthy of better? Or maybe you are just miserable at your job and feel trapped? Even if it’s not a bad job at all, it might not be filling your soul and bringing you joy. Well it’s time to purge here as well. Get honest with yourself about how you feel about it. Maybe write it down. And once you’ve got all your feelings about it out, start to figure out what you DO like about your job, or what you love to do outside of work at least. Now you need to figure out what jobs would suit your abilities and strengths working in an area that you like. For example, if you love managing people, but hate working with numbers in your current finance position – look into jobs where you can just manage people with no financial responsibilities.
I also need to address those that truly love what they are doing but are workaholics, beating themselves up about whether or not they’ve done enough. Or feeling guilty if they take any time to do something outside of work. This is not a healthy pattern, and you need to find some balance. Fun and relaxation is just as essential as being productive. I think most of the hugely successful people out there would agree. Yes they hustled, but you also need to laugh, to get outside, and to do other things that fill you up so you have more to give in your work. It’s time for you to purge your busy schedule and plan for some fun.
In so many areas of your life you might have other things you can purge too. What about your doctors, dentist, hairdresser, vet or so many others? Are you happy with them and their services? Is it time to find someone new? I think we get very afraid to hurt people’s feelings and we may keep going to someone that doesn’t resonate with us, or doesn’t give us the great service we deserve. Think about who you want to purge from your life in other areas, and start to look for someone new to try.
Letting go of Old Beliefs
What about your beliefs? This is something you might not think about, but it’s a great time to also sit down and think about all your beliefs – and I’m not just talking spiritually. I realized last year that many of my problematic beliefs about money were things I had learned from my parents, and even the generations before them. I needed to really notice it, think about it, write about it, and even read about it to work to unhinge them from my consciousness. This can take some work, but I think if you can start to recognize your own beliefs in the different areas of your life (money, love, health, etc.), you can start to change them. Otherwise we just stumble through life with these beliefs that aren’t really our own, and we need to recognize that and make the needed changes.
Well I think that’s a lot for now, but do notice that you can truly purge and clean out every area of your life in every way. It’s healthy, therapeutic, and can bring so much joy to your life in the short and the long term. It’s really about taking loving care of yourself and doing the best you can for YOU. Sometimes you just need to rip off the band-aid and deal with the short-term pain. That said, you CAN do all these things in a gentle, caring way (for yourselves and others), and I guarantee that in the long run it will all be good.
A book you might like is The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo