It’s a time right now on this planet where old stuff is coming up for us to release it. We may need to cry about it. Maybe scream and have a meltdown about it. But ultimately to clear it and start anew. And that involves honoring our feminine side, for both men and women.
All of this can be very exciting, yes, as it means you are moving forward. But it’s also very emotional. For example, earlier this week I was busy decorating my bedroom in my new apartment. I am decorating it mostly in pink. I have never in my life used pink to decorate. Ever.
When I sat down for a minute and thought about that, lots of old stuff came up. When I was young (and really, much of my life) I only honored my masculine side. You see, I was raised in a household with an alcoholic father who wasn’t managing anything well at the time. It was an emotional rollercoaster, and never a stable environment. And mom didn’t handle any of it well either. Emotionally she was as big a mess as he was (sans alcohol).
Honoring my Masculine
So, who was the grown up? We kids were. At times I was very cold, angry and unsympathetic toward my parents. I could never be emotional though or show weakness (because the household was so emotionally unstable). It was a mess and I felt that I had to be the strong one. I had to hold it together in the midst of the chaos. It was the only way to stay sane and keep the family moving forward, or so I felt at the time.
Ironically, my bedroom was always decorated in baby blue, from the time I was little. It was always about honoring my masculine. It was always about staying strong and keeping a stiff upper lip so I could hold the family together.
Finally the Feminine
So why the pink now? Well it took digging this all out and having a good cry, but I realized that I never allowed myself to be emotional in the past, even as an adult. I have never really allowed myself to stop worrying about stability and being strong. I’ve never told people how I feel, or allowed myself to let down my guard and be vulnerable.
Because the feminine side, while still strong and protective, is about feeling. And I never allowed myself to feel because from what I knew of it, it was far too painful. Far too risky to allow myself to get hurt in the mess of emotions at home. Vulnerability was downright frightening. Who would be the strong one and hold it together?
Now I’m finally honoring my feminine. Finally allowing myself to feel the feelings (there has been A LOT of crying) and move through the emotions I’ve had pent up for years. And I can see my parents and everyone in a much more compassionate light now as well, and really love them for who they are. We are all dealing with our own stuff, that’s for sure.
It’s SO therapeutic to find emotion and true compassion again, for myself and others, and so needed. And it’s not just something for women. Everyone needs to honor their feminine side. I think our society has honored and revered the masculine side for so long, and it’s time to honor the feminine in both sexes. It’s time for men to express themselves and find their compassionate, sensitive sides as well, and be truly authentic in how they communicate and express themselves.
It’s amazing how your life can finally move forward once you release all of that old stuff. When you let yourself feel it, get angry, cry about it, whatever you need to do. It is so cleansing when you not only feel the emotions but you figure out the ‘why’ of it all. That’s when you can move past it and let it all go. That’s when the breakthroughs happen.
How can you work to honor your feminine?
- When you feel something, or notice that something brings up some negative feelings, don’t stuff them down. Dig deeper. Grab the box of tissues and find some private space, but don’t let the feeling pass. It came up for a reason. Explore it and feel it. Do NOT stuff it down with alcohol, sugar, or other vices. Feel it!
- Journal. I find that writing about something helps me to get it all out sometimes. Whether you are just venting, writing a letter to God or the Universe, writing a letter to someone that hurt you (just to get the feelings out but not send it), or using it as your own self-help work – write it down. It will also help you to gather your thoughts and really work through it for clarity.
- Find people you can safely talk with who won’t judge you. Someone who isn’t ruffled if you discuss something deep, cry, or even fall apart a little. It’s ok. We all need someone we can do this with and feel safe. If you don’t have that now, look for that in future friends or partners. Therapists are also amazing for this. A good therapist can be a wonderful place to vent all your emotions and work through them. Take care in choosing someone you feel very comfortable with.
- Communicate. If something needs to be said, say it. If you just brush over everything and never say a word, no one ever knows how you feel or what you need. Don’t keep things bottled up. Say what you need to say right away. Or in the words of Madonna – Express Yourself!
- Be strong, but compassionate. Assertive, but kind. Honest, but gentle. It’s all about the balance of the masculine and the feminine. The key is really to be able to honor BOTH. But many of us are suppressing the feminine in our society, and we need to let that rise to find the balance.
Supporting Each Other
So today I’m asking you to take a look at this. Have you been honoring your feminine side? If you have been honoring your feminine, is there anyone around you that hasn’t been? Is there a way you could be supportive in allowing them to feel safe to do so? Be it your children, your spouse, your parents or your friends – everyone needs a supportive environment to be honest, emotional, and feel safe. For the health and well-being of all, it’s so important that we honor our feminine, as well as honor it with everyone around us.
A book that you might like is Goddesses Never Age: The Secret Prescription for Radiance, Vitality and Well-Being by Christiane Northrup MD