Often in life we encounter challenges, hurts, abuse, pain, rejection – we learn to feel unworthy, unlovable, unsupported, and believing that a better life just isn’t possible for us. Our heart closes down. We lose our self-love. We lose our faith that God loves us. And we lower all of our expectations, believing that we don’t deserve better, or that anything more just isn’t possible for us. But what we don’t see is that it’s all been imposed on us by others and their own past issues and wrong beliefs. The family beliefs, if you will, passed down through generations – that are yours to overcome. And maybe change for future generations?
While you probably don’t want to hear this, it’s part of our journey. It’s all planned and orchestrated before you join us here on earth. We are all meant to have these challenges to grow us. You didn’t do ANYTHING wrong. It was part of your lesson plan. And now, beautiful soul, you are meant to rise like the phoenix from the ashes.
Where do we begin?
We need to work toward digging up these old, wrong beliefs in our family lines that we have taken as our own. To begin to heal it in ourselves, releasing the old pain and suffering – and developing new beliefs as we also begin to grow our faith and our self-love. Because the fact is that God will put things in our path to teach us how wrong those old beliefs are. To wake us up. To shake us down. And to help us find our own truths as we begin to see all the baggage we are carrying, and start to set it down.
What do I mean by family beliefs?
It could be anything from poverty mentality, unworthiness, believing life is always difficult and challenging, that love is elusive or painful, that there is no such thing as unconditional love, that you just need to do what you need to do and not follow your heart, that we have to tolerate misery in some areas of our lives because that’s all there is, that nothing comes easily, you have to work hard, that life is tough,…. Wrong, wrong, wrong. But it’s amazing what we will buy into and take on as our own. It’s not their fault, but we don’t have to live other people’s “truths” – we can create and believe in our own.
You are born very true, pure and perfect in your faith and your self-love – we all are. But then we take on the beliefs, wounding, self-loathing and other issues of those around us and in the world. But we can make a new start. We can begin to heal and open our hearts again. We can begin to love ourselves, love God, and love our lives.
The Healing Journey
The healing of all these old ingrained beliefs and wounds begins with recognizing them. Often we start out blaming the people around us or our circumstances, believing that others just keep hurting us, that no one will love us, that no one will hire us for a better job, that no one believes in us, that money is just elusive, or that we can’t seem to catch a break in life. But when we start to see that we are attracting only what we believe is possible for us (i.e. pain, suffering, hurt, poverty), then we can start to heal it.
Because really, life is just showing you what you need to heal. That horrible manipulative relationship? Well, it was showing you how little you value and love yourself. How you aren’t reaching for better, but tolerating less. Allowing others to belittle you, control you, and abuse you. While you want to blame the person, it was you that stepped into it, allowed it, and tolerated it. It’s a wake-up call from God. Not because God wants you to suffer, but because God wants you to love yourself enough to put a stop to it. To reach for better. And very likely, to see that you were probably raised in similar circumstances and need to recognize that too, so the healing from the root of the problem can begin with the underlying beliefs.
Recognizing Our Patterns
Once we recognize our patterns, we can put a stop to it. And we can begin to work on loving ourselves more. I remember the day 10 years ago now that I recognized my pattern of choosing relationships that were toxic, manipulative, and self-sacrificing. I actually swore off dating entirely. I decided I needed to heal myself – to love myself too, because no one else was! I certainly wasn’t going to prove myself lovable in my dysfunctional family or toxic relationships. I needed to find that love in myself, for myself.
Mind you, I really had come a long way after my divorce a few years prior in terms of my strength, self-love, self-care and spirituality – but not in terms of who I was attracted to. I was generally following the same patterns. Or at least, if it wasn’t a toxic person, it was my neediness for confirmation of my lovability. So I realized I needed to stop looking for that outside myself and work on my healing.
My Healing Journey
I started my healing journey by diving full-on into spiritual exploration by reading, joining groups, and taking classes. I also began to explore other things that interested me, and I found new passions, self-care and creative outlets. I became unabashedly in love with my alone time, and arguably a bit of a recluse, which was drastically different from the extreme loneliness I had felt in the past (this is normal of course to feel lonely sometimes, but it is good to enjoy our own company too).
But I also dove full-on into deeply healing myself. I found the world of healers and started with readings, energy healings, shamans, and so many other things. It became a personal journey of connecting with the Divine, growing as a person, getting to know myself again, and learning to love who I am – and eventually caring for myself in a deeper and more loving way. I do believe it has been a longer journey for me though because it’s also part of my purpose, and there was a lot I was meant to experience as part of that. I believe we all experience this growth and healing in our own ways, on our own timelines, and utilizing pathways, methods or practitioners that feel right for us.
Becoming Our Best Self
This journey for me goes on. I think it does for all of us. We are always learning, growing, and expanding in who we are. Unearthing ourselves from the past and bringing forth our most authentic selves. And in the process, becoming our best self.
We can overcome those past obstacles if we wish to. And we can really push forward and live out our bigger purpose on this planet. And of course, we can find that great love in another person. We can live a life of passion, joy and unconditional love. We just need to heal ourselves enough and root ourselves strongly enough in who we are, our new beliefs and faith, and in that love within our own hearts that cares for not just those around us, but for ourselves as well. Fully, deeply, and devotedly.
Let your Heart Lead the Way
Believe in yourself. Love yourself. Heal those old wounds and beliefs. Open your heart wide enough to attract the life you deserve. And really begin to believe that it’s all possible for you. Because you have to love it all into reality, believe that it’s happening, and have faith in God to bring it to you. That, my friend, is a heart-centered life. Your healed and open heart will bring it all to you.
All of the challenges are just part of your journey. If you recognize that and rise to the occasion, things will get better. If you heal your heart, you will open it to greater joy, love and passion. We all have the ability to do this. You are magic. That amazing heart of yours is going to bring you miracles. It’s time to unearth your beautiful heart and allow it attract the life of your dreams!
You might also enjoy The Manifestation Journey and The Law of Attraction – How to Turn on Your Magnet
A book you might like reading is The Power by Rhonda Byrne