Certainly, there are people who seem to be happy all the time. And I’m sure there are some people that generally speaking truly are. However, no one tells you that it’s normal NOT to be happy all the time. Fear is normal, loneliness is normal, and anxiety is normal, among other feelings. They are feelings that we all experience that we need to work on, heal, and love ourselves through.
Mind you, I know we are all working to get to a happier state of being. That is truly the goal. But even the happiest person has their moments, that’s all I’m saying. It might be something that’s affecting a large number of people, or it might be something that is just upsetting you in your world on that given day. But don’t ever feel like you aren’t normal. You are.
Anxiety Affects Everyone
What if I told you that EVERYONE experiences anxiety on some level? Studies actually show that the levels of anxiety have gone up over time for the population as a whole. Now while that’s not a great thing, and we do need to work on lowering our own anxiety, it should certainly make you realize that you aren’t alone. Now mind you, this doesn’t mean that everyone needs to be medicated. While for some, this is a helpful tool to manage extreme anxiety, but for most – it’s something we just need to breathe and work through. Because anxiety can lead to a whole range of other emotions like anger, frustration, deep sadness or even depression.
I think the best thing that any of us can do is to not beat ourselves up for feeling anxious, or sad, or lonely, or whatever it is that day. We need to feel it, experience it, examine it (why you are feeling that way – where it’s coming from – deeper meaning). It’s great if we can clearly see WHY we are feeling the way we are. And it may go back as far as childhood if you really dig deep. But sometimes that’s all we need is to understand it and clear out the feelings, and then we can move forward.
Pretending to be Happy
Because our society makes you feel like you need to be a happy ray of sunshine every day all day (and especially on social media), we tend to hide and stuff our feelings. And that’s SO not healthy. It would actually be healthier to admit how you are feeling and find community in others who are experiencing the same thing. Sometimes just having others who can say, “I’m totally with you” is the greatest way to move through it. And especially to not feel so alone in it.
Why is it that we feel we have to be the picture of perfection all the time? Who is like that anyway? And whoever they are, I don’t really think we’ll have anything to talk about. LOL. Seriously though, it’s time to be authentic. It’s time to admit how you are feeling. And it’s time to unite and support each other through those not-so-happy times.
Love Yourself Through it
Ways to love yourself through those not-so-happy feelings:
- Don’t just allow yourself to lash out at people, or go around angry or upset or insecure in victim mode, without figuring out why. What set you off and what are the underlying feelings there? Stop blaming others and figure out why you have these feelings. Go back to childhood if needed in exploring this, as sometimes it’s an old issue for you that keeps coming up. Recognizing it for what it is will be your first step in healing it.
- Take some time to yourself when you can be alone and feel the feelings. Write about it, think about it, dig deep in your history to find why you feel that way, and emote as much as you need to. The more you can dig deep and understand it, the easier you can clear it.
- Talk with others about how you’re feeling. Be it a counselor, a friend, a support group, or a loved one – just find someone who will listen in a non-judgmental way.
- Do something loving for your body, mind and spirit. Even if you aren’t feeling very motivated, take a hot bath with Epsom salts, do a little yoga, go for a walk, or meditate. Something that is just for you that fills your soul and heals you in a gentle, natural way.
- If you have the means and the time, go for a healing treatment like massage, reiki, craniosacral work or other types of energetic healing.
- Don’t try and stuff the feelings with food, alcohol, online shopping, or whatever other vices you have up your sleeve. You’ll never get to the bottom of the feelings and clear them if you avoid them.
Just know that you aren’t alone in experiencing these feelings. That feeling unhappy sometimes is very normal. Mind you, if there are bigger issues to be addressed, then by all means do that. But most of our wide range of emotions are very normal – things that everyone feels at different points. Just be gentle and kind with yourself. Try and understand where it’s coming from, and deal with yourself during that time with grace and loving compassion. You deserve that.
A book I thought you may like – Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living by Allan Lokos