Do you know what you need to do, or what you want to do, but you are doubting it? Is your gut telling you to start writing that book, break up with your boyfriend, or begin to look for a new job – but you are talking yourself out of it because you don’t know if you can do it? It seems intimidating, scary, difficult, cumbersome even. And maybe you wonder if you can really do it? And really, will it be better than you have right now? Why rock the boat when you have decent, or good enough for now?
It’s amazing what we will accept and sit with for far too long. Sometimes we are miserable even, but we make excuses as to why we can’t change our situation. We rationalize that we are too busy. That things are fine. That we can’t do better. But really, it’s just our own insecurities and fears that are holding us back. What if you went with your gut on faith, and trusted and believed that you COULD have a better life? What if I told you it’s pretty much guaranteed if you follow your instincts?
Doubts Creep in
It could also be that you are actually trying to make changes. Maybe you have already started making a major change in your life, or have decided to undertake a large project. But mid-way through you have doubts. You freak out a little. Or a lot. You convince yourself that maybe it’s not achievable, or that you made a mistake, or that you aren’t capable of it. You had so much faith when you started out, and now you have no idea where that went.
Well, let me tell you that this is so normal. We all doubt ourselves. We all make excuses. And we all have times that we have decided to do something big, and freak out half way through. So how do you move forward again? Or even get started once you realize you need to make a change?
Trust Your Instincts
Recently I moved – very much on a whim, though it was intuitively guided. I had a feeling that I needed to get out of my old house that had so many issues, and when I didn’t find another home to move to, I moved into an apartment. While the apartment is very nice and has a lot to offer, I miss so much about living in a house. I’ve had my moments both during the move and after where I’m freaking out a bit, feeling like I made a huge mistake. Even though I KNOW it was the right thing to do and I correctly followed my gut on it. Regardless though, I’ve even had a few meltdowns and cries over it.
I think we all have these moments though of “what did I do?”, just feeling like we’ve made a mistake. I think change alone can cause us to do this. And when we make big changes, it can be a little traumatic. And for that matter, if it’s something huge, it can make us really freak out. Especially if we don’t have the confidence to feel like we can pull it off.
Moving Forward Again
So how do we come back to that faith and confidence and continue to move forward? Sometimes this isn’t easy. We can get stuck sometimes. Overwhelmed. Uncertain of our next step. We all need to figure out what will help us individually, as we are all very different. Let me give you some ideas though of things that have helped me and you can follow your own instincts on what might help you.
- Take a night alone and meditate or just get quiet. Try and get to the bottom of your feelings. After having a bit of a meltdown one night, I explored my feelings about the apartment, and I realized there was an underlying fear of failure and scarcity that I needed to understand first. It took quiet time and exploring the feelings to really understand that. Once I had a better understanding of it though, I could start to consciously let it go and move forward. During the meltdown though, I didn’t even know why I was so upset – it took digging just to realize the apartment situation was triggering these deep seated issues and fears.
- Do some reading on the topic. When I realized it was scarcity and lack that was my underlying fear and my lifelong issue, I started reading about the energy of money, and other finance books to help me to get things on track and feel more secure. If you can find some books that help you work through your issues, there may be some epiphanies for you in them.
- Find a healer you feel comfortable working with. I have worked with many healers over the years. The healer I’ve most recently worked with not only works with energy, but with music. Honestly, I haven’t cried that much in years. She manages to help me release all the pent-up emotions around my feeling stuck, and my fears. She plays songs that get to the heart of the problem and help you to express them in a non-verbal way. It’s quite amazing actually, and while the sessions can be exhausting, I feel absolutely changed for the better afterwards.
- Talk to someone. I think you have to be careful with this one. I would reach out to someone who will be understanding, supportive, and a good listener who doesn’t judge or tell you what to do. Whether this is a counselor, friend or family member, just choose wisely. You are in a very vulnerable state when you are doubting or freaking out a little, and you need someone who is more the ‘soothing balm’ type of person and not the ‘salt in your wounds’.
- Step away from the situation for a while. If this is possible of course. For example, if you are working on a project and you feel overwhelmed, stuck, doubting of yourself – it’s time to walk away for a bit. I’m not saying to quit, but just to give yourself some space and come back fresh and with a new perspective. I find that this always works for me on some level. Whether I go for a long bike ride and just relax, or give myself an easy night of watching a comedy and eating pizza. However you decide to let yourself off the hook for a bit, do it – but do it in a relatively healthy way too. (i.e. alcohol will not bring you clarity.)
Self-Doubt is Normal
Just know that doubting yourself and your intuitive decisions is normal. You aren’t going to see the whole path clearly – just those first steps. And sometimes not even that. But if you know what you need/want to do in your life, trust and have faith that you can get there. Visualize the outcome and move towards that. Trust your gut feelings and intuitive guidance. When faith gets foggy for you and doubt creeps in, address it and deal with it, and then work to re-inspire yourself. You CAN do it! We are all capable of so much more than we give ourselves credit for!
You may also enjoy – Happy all the Time is NOT Normal and Is it Time to Quit Your Job?
A book you might like is Take Control of Your Life: How to Silence Fear and Win the Mental Game by Mel Robbins
Amy @ LifeZemplified says
Such great advice, Jen! Sometimes it would be so great to see a year or so down the road to know everything is going to be all right, but then we’d miss out on some of the fun. 🙂 Stepping away and distracting yourself with something else can really help.
So true Amy, I agree with you. thanks for your comment!
Do I doubt myself? All. The. Freaking. Time!! It’s like a roller coaster with me-some days there’s no stopping me and other days I feel like I can’t even breathe right. I get the bulk of my work done when I’m at the crest of the roller coaster hill and when I’m flying down the other side is usually when the doubt & fear rushes in. I tend to let things go during this time, knowing eventually it will pass and the “no stopping me” feeling will come back. It makes me crazy but I don’t feel like I can burden anyone with how I’m feeling since I know it will pass eventually.
Oh goodness I can relate. I think we all feel this. I know I do! I get so in my head some days. It just takes time and patience and some calming distractions to pull me out. I’m getting better at it though, and I’m sure you are too. Thanks for your comment Kim!