While my business is all about helping people to ‘set sail’ in their life and go after what they want, I wanted to touch on the fact that you can and should also be anchored in some way. Sounds a bit contradictory, I know. How can you be moving forward and be anchored? Well, you can be. Maybe not on a boat, but in your life.
So what does this mean? What do you mean by anchoring? Well in some ways it’s a lot like grounding yourself, but it goes much further than that. I think making major changes in your life can really throw you off balance and could send you into a tailspin if you aren’t anchored. What I mean by anchored in this context is that you have some core beliefs, personal tools, self-care and routines, and also people around you who are supportive of you.
Let’s discuss these areas of anchoring:
- Core Beliefs– While I’m not trying to push any type of spirituality on anyone here, I think that some basic beliefs about life and why you’re here are a great place to start. To also have some basic beliefs about who you are and what you stand for. This would include your values too. If you haven’t really thought much about these things, I would start here. What do you believe about yourself and the world around you? What matters to you most? Who or what do you have faith in? What are your goals and even your purpose in everything in your life, and for those around you?
For me, I have developed my own spiritual beliefs. Beliefs about why we are here and what my general purpose is in life. They help to keep me on track and remind me in those dark moments that there is a higher purpose and I need to trust in that. It also helps me to find the reason that things happen to me, and the lessons behind those things, because I firmly believe there are messages and teachings in everything that happens to us. This also helps me to not get lost in victim mode. Or feeling sorry for myself. Because I know that whatever I’m experiencing or feeling right now will not only pass – but it’s happening for a reason and I need to understand why. With strong beliefs, you can pull yourself out of things more quickly and easily.
- Personal Tools– I see personal tools as things like confidence, positivity, assertiveness, drive, honesty, ambition, etc. I could go on and on with this one. It’s really all the descriptors you might have for yourself, or traits that are important to you and the life you want. They are all things that can change for you, be developed, and are learned for sure. It’s a set of tools that you are constantly working on through your life, and they will help you on every step of your journey.
When I was married and miserable, I really had very little confidence, assertiveness, or worthiness for that matter. I felt stuck. And I thought misery was just my new life that I had to deal with. It took time for me to develop these traits in myself strong enough to be anchored in them and able to remove myself from the marriage. As well as to avoid any future situations like this. I could have stayed miserable, but I worked on these areas. I created my own personal tools to strengthen myself enough to stand up for myself. A solid set of personal tools can make you unstoppable in every area of your life.
- Self-Care and Routines– This is a really critical area that a lot of people overlook. These are especially important when you are stressed out, overwhelmed, or going through major changes in your life. This can be the most anchoring and grounding thing. However, you need to establish these things for yourself, know what works for you, and have them in place to utilize. What I mean by this is to develop your own self-care routines or things that you can do regularly to take care of yourself. It might even be rituals for you that ground you – like journaling at night before bed. It might be yoga, meditation, hiking, cooking, reading, playing with your dog, taking a bath… It’s those things you do to take loving care of yourself and enjoy your life in the moment. If you can establish some things that you do daily or regularly, these things will also help to ground you or calm you when life gets a little crazy.
I think we can all admit that when life gets stressful and crazy, our self-care is often the first thing to fall off our schedules. When really, it should be our top priority at that point. We just think we’re ‘too busy’. In my job as a manager, I’ve had people call me in tears. Overwhelmed, stressed, and way past the point of being able to deal with anything. These are the times I always tell them to step away from it. Go to your self-care for a bit. Take a walk, or a run, sit outside for a bit, or go and journal.
Whatever they do though, they need to step away from the stressors for a bit and do something for themselves. It anchors them. It calms them. And it allows them to get back to a point of following their instincts instead of spinning in panic in their head. It’s crazy how quickly that can get out of control! It’s important when you feel out of control to tell people you need a short break, and take it. For yourself. You’ll be way better for it once you return.
- Supportive People– The last area I wanted to touch on regarding anchoring yourself is having supportive people around you. To have people that love and believe in you is so important in our lives. Mind you, those people might shift and change for many reasons, but to have at least one or two people you can share with honestly and openly (and trust and know that they will support you) is a priceless gift and a very strong anchor in your life. Whether this is your boss, your sibling, your partner or your friend doesn’t matter. Just to have such a person in your life is so important. Being able to talk things through or share them with someone makes them real. It’s wonderful to have people that don’t judge you and let you express yourself in the way that you need to.
I think it’s a mistake, however, to assume that this one person will serve that role throughout your life for you. I have found the need to cut ties with some of the people who served this role for me in the past when I found them to be untrustworthy or manipulative. It can be quite upsetting to lose an anchoring person from your life. However, if you have strong beliefs and personal tools, as well as some good self-care, you will be strong enough to do so. Just trust that the Universe will send you another person to anchor you again soon. It’s all part of the lesson, I believe.
So, as you set off to make changes in your life. To find that great relationship. Meet new people. Change your career to something you are passionate about. Find more balance and peace in your life. Or to move to that country you’ve always wanted to live in. Whatever it is, make sure you also anchor yourself. You need to have a strong sense of self (and self-love), good self-care, solid beliefs, a full personal toolbox and a supportive person or two to listen when needed. These are the key areas you need to work on to feel fully anchored and able to take on the world.
I also like to recommend this book – You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay
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